163 - Joke : Johnny and little April

One of the best jokes i have ever heard , read on and enjoy :

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ***!"

 - The teacher fainted ......

142 - Joke: Little Johnny - Lesson in government

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.


When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was.


His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''


''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.


''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.


''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parents' bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''

141 - Joke : Little johnny - Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"


Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."


Mary answers, "He's in my heart."


Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"


The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.


"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

128 - Joke: What parents do for a living

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

"Mary, what does your parents do?"

Little Mary replied, "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."

"That’s very nice," said the teacher. "Robert, what do your parents do?"

Robert proudly exclaimed, "My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"

"That’s very nice," said the teacher, "Johnny, what do your parents do?"

He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a hooker."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 15 minutes later, he returned.

"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher.

Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, gave me a chocolate and asked for my phone number."