187 - Code for sex

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

 One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter". The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

 A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.

128 - Joke: What parents do for a living

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

"Mary, what does your parents do?"

Little Mary replied, "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."

"That’s very nice," said the teacher. "Robert, what do your parents do?"

Robert proudly exclaimed, "My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"

"That’s very nice," said the teacher, "Johnny, what do your parents do?"

He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a hooker."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 15 minutes later, he returned.

"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher.

Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, gave me a chocolate and asked for my phone number."