Sunday, March 19, 2017

199 - Joke : New pair of boots

“A young man bought a new pair of boots, of which he was very proud. He decided to show them off at his favourite nightclub.

After dancing with one girl for a few minutes, he said: ‘I bet you I can guess the colour of your panties.’

‘OK,’ she said. ‘What colour do you think they are?’

‘Blue,’ he replied.

‘How did you know that?’ she asked.

‘I saw the reflection in my shiny new boots,’ he said.

‘Here,’ she said, ‘dance with my sister and tell me what colour she was on.’

After dancing a while, the young man started rubbing the toes of his boots on the legs of his jeans. Then he danced again. But a few minutes later, he asked the new girl: ‘What colour panties do you have on? I can’t seem to make them out.’

She replied: ‘I’m not wearing panties.’

‘Good,’ said the young man, breathing a huge sigh of relief. ‘For a minute I thought I had a crack in my new boots.”

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

198 - Joke : Childhood was wonderful

When i was a child

*PUSSY meant a CAT.

*SEX meant the GENDER of a person.

*BITCH meant a FEMALE DOG.

*DICK was the name of a CARTOON CHARACTER.

*BANG was just a SOUND.

*RUBBER was just an ERASER.

*ASS was the name of an ANIMAL.

*SCREW was just a fixing TOOL.

*HEAD meant that part of the body above NECK.

*BALLS meant CRICKET BALLS, TENNIS BALLS, VOLLEY BALLS, FOOT BALLS etc.

*NUTS meant DRYFRUITS.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

197 - Sweet aroma of my mistress

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line: 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play hes practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger he delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!

"You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"

Thursday, November 22, 2012

196 - Joke : Stop seeing my wife

"Boy, I'm scared,"  John said to one of his friends.

"I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife."

"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."

"Easy for you to say."

"You like her that much?" the friend asks.

"It's not that," declared John.
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"He didn't sign his name!

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