169 - Joke : The fastest thing

4 men – a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. “Here’s your question,” said the President, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” Without hesitation, he replied “A thought, because it takes no time at all.” “Very good answer,” said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. “A blink,” replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, “cos you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.” “Good answer,” replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately.” “That’s a great answer,” replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa’s turn. “What`s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: “Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light…..”

122 - Joke: Banta at beer bar

Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. Hey ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer.

When he got back he found his glass empty and a note saying: "Thanks for the beer!"

Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking that someone ran into his parked car, Banta runs outside to check on things. Seeing that his car was okay he returned to the bar and again found his glass empty and another note that said: "Thanks again, this was as good as the first one."

Well he still hadn't had a beer to quench his thirst, so he ordered another. Just as the bartender put the beer down, a series of shots were heard outside. This time Banta wasn't going to lose his beer to anybody. So he spit into the beer and left a note saying, "Enjoy, I just spit into the beer." He then ran outside to see what had happened.

When Banta returned he was delighted to find that his beer was just where he left it.

However this time the note said: "You enjoy, I spit in it too!"