169 - Joke : The fastest thing

4 men – a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. “Here’s your question,” said the President, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” Without hesitation, he replied “A thought, because it takes no time at all.” “Very good answer,” said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. “A blink,” replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, “cos you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.” “Good answer,” replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately.” “That’s a great answer,” replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa’s turn. “What`s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: “Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light…..”

154 - Joke : Politics explained the kid's way

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."