169 - Joke : The fastest thing

4 men – a Marathi, Bengali, Gujrati and our Santa were being interviewed for a top job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Marathi. “Here’s your question,” said the President, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” Without hesitation, he replied “A thought, because it takes no time at all.” “Very good answer,” said the President.

Next up was the Gujrati, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. “A blink,” replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, “cos you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.” “Good answer,” replied the president.

Next was the Bengali, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately.” “That’s a great answer,” replied the president.

Finally, it was our Santa’s turn. “What`s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: “Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light…..”

130 - Joke: Homosexual in army recruiting office

A delicate young man walked into an army recruiting office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally asked if he was a homosexual. The guy admitted that he was.
Recruiter: Gay, huh? Do you think you could kill a man?
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days and days".

53 - Mallu secretary went for job interview

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY.

When the manager saw the Mallu's colourful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN."

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:

I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."

The Manager fainted.......

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