190 - Joke : Woman breaking wind in bus

A woman on a bus is suddenly overcome with the urge to break wind.

She tries to let go a squeaker but instead lets loose a loud, disgusting blast.

 The entire bus goes silent, and the embarrassed woman desperately tries to think of something to say to the man sitting next to her.

 “Um…do you have a transfer ticket?” she finally asks.

 “No, I don’t,” he replies. “But when we pass the next tree, I’ll try to grab you a handful of leaves.”

137 - Joke : Dont let this happen to you

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.


The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.


After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.


As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring at you , and that's when you remember: You've been listening to your iPod.

69 - When You Are Dating - When You Are Married - differences

Farting is never an issue - You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband…… at all times.

He takes you out to have a good time - He brings home a 6 pack and says, “What are you going to drink?”

He holds your hand in public - He flicks your ear in public.

A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad - A King size bed feels like an Army cot.

You are turned on at the sight of him naked - You think to yourself…. “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”

You enjoyed foreplay - You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”

He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason - He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

You picture the two of you together, growing old - You wonder who will die first.

Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy” - When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

He knows what the “hamper” is - The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

He understands if you “aren’t in the mood” - He says, “It’s your job.”

He understands that you have “male” friends - He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

He likes to “discuss” things - He develops a “blank” stare.

He calls you by name - He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”