At the Polish Agricultural University (P.A.U), the Professor was talking about increasing milk production of the cows, when a girl in the class asked: “Why do cows always seem depressed when being milked?”
The Professor answered, “Well my girl, if every morning at dawn they woke you up, rubbed your boobs for two hours and didn’t fuck you afterwards, you’ll look depressed too!”
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P.S: I laughed so loud after reading this, my younger brother thought i was going crazy.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
165 - Joke : Sex is a killer
A guy went to his doctor full of anger. “Doc,” he said, “I feel like killing my wife. You’ve got to help me. Please tell me what I should do.”
The doctor thought for a moment. “Look,” he said, “here are some pills. Take these twice a day and they’ll allow you to fuck your wife six time a day. If you do this for thirty days, you’ll finally screw her to death. And the autopsy will just show that she died of heart failure during sex.”
“Wonderful, doc,” said the grateful patient. “I’ll start with this right away.”
He left with the bottle of pills and a smile on his face.
Nearly a month passed. One day, while on a medical convention, the doctor passed by the patient coming down the sidewalk in a wheelchair, just barely managing to move forward.
“What happened?” asked the doctor. “What happened to your wife?”
“Don’t worry, doc,” the patient reassured him, “two more days and she’ll be dead.”
The doctor thought for a moment. “Look,” he said, “here are some pills. Take these twice a day and they’ll allow you to fuck your wife six time a day. If you do this for thirty days, you’ll finally screw her to death. And the autopsy will just show that she died of heart failure during sex.”
“Wonderful, doc,” said the grateful patient. “I’ll start with this right away.”
He left with the bottle of pills and a smile on his face.
Nearly a month passed. One day, while on a medical convention, the doctor passed by the patient coming down the sidewalk in a wheelchair, just barely managing to move forward.
“What happened?” asked the doctor. “What happened to your wife?”
“Don’t worry, doc,” the patient reassured him, “two more days and she’ll be dead.”
Monday, January 25, 2010
164 - Joke : Ding! Ding!
A woman’s husband has died. After a few months, she decides she wants a new one. She submits a classified ad as follows:
“Widow looking for a new husband. To be considered, you must conform to these three criteria:
- You can’t beat me (as my first husband did).
- You can’t run around on me (as my first husband did).
- You MUST be good in bed (as my first husband wasn’t).”
A few days later, the doorbell rings. She opens the door and a man without any arms and or legs is sitting in a wheel chair.
“Can I help you?” she says.
“I’m here about your ad in the paper.”
“Which ad is that?”
“The one looking for a husband.”
She says, “Uhm, well, there were certain criteria…”
“Yes, I know. Obviously, I could never beat you… I have no arms.”
“Well, yes, I see that… but there were other criteria.”
“And, as you can see, I could never run around on you… I have no legs.”
“Well, yes, that’s true… but there was one other thing that is very important…”
“Ah, yes, well… how do you think I rang the door bell?”
“Widow looking for a new husband. To be considered, you must conform to these three criteria:
- You can’t beat me (as my first husband did).
- You can’t run around on me (as my first husband did).
- You MUST be good in bed (as my first husband wasn’t).”
A few days later, the doorbell rings. She opens the door and a man without any arms and or legs is sitting in a wheel chair.
“Can I help you?” she says.
“I’m here about your ad in the paper.”
“Which ad is that?”
“The one looking for a husband.”
She says, “Uhm, well, there were certain criteria…”
“Yes, I know. Obviously, I could never beat you… I have no arms.”
“Well, yes, I see that… but there were other criteria.”
“And, as you can see, I could never run around on you… I have no legs.”
“Well, yes, that’s true… but there was one other thing that is very important…”
“Ah, yes, well… how do you think I rang the door bell?”
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
163 - Joke : Johnny and little April
One of the best jokes i have ever heard , read on and enjoy :
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ***!"
- The teacher fainted ......
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ***!"
- The teacher fainted ......
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