189 - Swimming sperms

Two sperms are swimming. One looks over at the other and says, "I'm exhausted! Are we almost there?" 
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The other sperm looks back at him and says, "Are you kidding? We just passed the esophagus!"

188 - Clinton's visit to hell

Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell.

At the gates he meets the devil who tells Clinton that because Hell is full, he’ll he replacing one of the current inhabitants. He leads him down a hallway where there are three doors and indicates that he’ll be given the choice of who he will replace forever in Hell.

The first door opens. Behind it is Newt Gingrich. He’s being worked over with a blowtorch. Clinton cringes, “That looks painful. I don’t think this is for me!”

Door 2 opens. Behind it is Rush Limbaugh. His skin is being stripped off with a pair of pliers. “I don’t think so,” Clinton insists.

Door 3 opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He’s bound hand to foot to a chair and is completely naked. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. “I can handle that!” Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.

 “Very well” says Satan, “Monica, you may go.”

187 - Code for sex

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

 One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter". The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

 A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.

186 - You can never please a woman

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.

"We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin. Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick. They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."