189 - Swimming sperms

Two sperms are swimming. One looks over at the other and says, "I'm exhausted! Are we almost there?" 
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The other sperm looks back at him and says, "Are you kidding? We just passed the esophagus!"

179 - Joke : Someone under the bed

I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under my bed. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the psychiatrist. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.
I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you, I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having? he asked.
Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.

Is that so! With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed - ain't nobody under there now!

SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER.

158 - Surgeons discussing best patients to operate on

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered".

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded".

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable".