162 - Doctor asking man to stop masturbating

A man went to see his doctor.

“You need to stop masturbating,” the doctor said.

The man asked, “Why?”

The doctor replied, “Because I'm trying to examine you!”

102 - What is foreplay?

The loving before the shoving.

The petting before the getting.

BULLSHIT!

The licking before the pricking.

The stroking before the poking.

The procrastination & masturbation preceding penetration.

The lingering and the fingering.

A premature ejaculators nightmare!

90 - Watch This

This cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.

“What are you doing?” the cowboy asks.

The Indian answers, “Me tell time.”

The cowboy says, “Ok. If you are so good, what time is it?”

The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, “It 2 o’clock.”

The cowboy looks at his watch and says, “By Golly, you are right!”

The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.

“Don’t tell me….you’re telling time also?”

Indian looks up at him and says, “Yes, me telling time.”

The cowboy says, “Okay smartass, what time is it?”

The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, “It 4 o’clock.”

The cowboy is amazed at the Indians, so he keeps walking.

A few hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.

“Don’t tell me you are telling time!!??”

The Indian looks up at him and says, “No, me winding watch!!”