Sunday, December 11, 2011

185 - Baby Elephant

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor.

The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis. "Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure." The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. "So what's the good news?" he asks. The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"

 The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it." So the doctor performs the operation.

 A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful. Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure. Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again. 

"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?" Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"

Sunday, December 4, 2011

184 - Joke : 7 kinds of Sex


The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when You first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

 The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been With your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

 The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with Your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have Sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with Your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Fuck you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. Which means you get Nun in The morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your Wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. And; Last, but not least,

The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

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