Monday, March 30, 2009

135 - Joke : a deal to pay back


Chris goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and his friend’s wife answers.

“Hi, is Tony home?”

“No, he went to the store.”

“Well, do you mind if I wait?”

“Not at all, come on in.”

They sit down and the friend says, “You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’ll give you a hundred bucks if I can just see one.”

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures ‘what the hell—a hundred bucks.’ 

She opens her robe and displays her left breast. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says, “They are so beautiful, I’ve just got to see both of them. I’ll give you another hundred bucks if I can just see both of them together.”

Nora thinks about this and thinks, ‘What the hell,’ opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can’t wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.” 

Tony thinks about this for a second and says “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”

134 - joke : confession time !


An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair. I made love to two 21 year-old girls. Both of them. Twice.”

The priest said: “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”

“Never Father, I’m Jewish.”

“So then, why are you telling me?”

“Are you kidding? I’m telling everybody!”

.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

133 - joke : Husband running out naked


A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies, Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Shit! That must be my husband!'

So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman 'I AM your husband, you slut!'

The woman yelled back, "Yeah??? Then why were you running.... you Son of a Bitch !!"

And that folks.... that is how the fight started.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

132 - joke : multiple twins


A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman

came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, “Lets’ see now, there’s the twins, Sally and Billy, they’re eighteen. And the

twins, Seth & Beth, they’re sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they’re

fourteen… ”

“Hold on!” said the census taker, “Did you get twins EVERY time?”

The woman answered, “Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get

nothing.”

Subscribe via email

Visitors currently online